Changes: Jayde Adams
The audio version of this episode is available here.
Annie [00:00:05] Hello. I am Annie Macmanus, welcome to Changes. Oh, my God. This week's guest, the conversation we had was so enjoyable. I really just loved every second of it. Even thinking back on it now just puts a smile on my face because this woman that is our guest on Changes this week, her name is Jayde Adams. She is such a force. She is so brilliant in so many ways. First of all, she's Bristolian. Her accent rocks. She is multi-talented. She's an actress. She's a comedian. She's a TV host. You may have seen her do an amazing job on Strictly Come Dancing at the end of last year. She's got a stand up special on Amazon Prime called Serious Black Jumper, which has done incredibly well. She co-hosted the BAFTA nominated series Snack Masters and Crazy Delicious with Heston Blumenthal on Netflix. She's also starred in the BAFTA winning Alma's Not Normal as the best friend of the main character and writer of the show, Sophie Willan, who has been a guest on Changes before. We love her, and both Sophie and Jayde are so refreshing when it comes to female actresses and writers in television making some great and well-needed changes in the TV industry. Jayde's also going to be starring in the upcoming Take That movie, Greatest Days, and she is currently co-creating and filming a new series called Ruby Speaking, which will be coming out on Itv2. Her latest stand up show, Men I Can Save You, is touring the UK in March, and it's her late sister who she thanks for her comedic ability.
Jayde [00:01:39] I think it really helps that I've got- I sort of held the person I love the most in the world as she died. I think I've got this armour that I am so lucky to have. A really unfortunate way of getting it, but I wear it with absolute pride, which is there's nothing an audience can do to hurt me because the worst thing that I will ever go through has already happened. So what else you got?
Annie [00:02:07] Jayde is so compelling. Full of wisdom. Hilarious, of course. She really wears her heart on her sleeve and it makes for a wonderful conversation. I completely lost track of time whilst talking to her. I could have gone on and on and on. I really hope you enjoy this. Delighted to introduce to Changes, Jayde Adams... Okay, Jayde Pricilla Gail Adams. Hello and welcome to Changes.
Jayde [00:02:39] Thank you for having me, Annie.
Annie [00:02:41] How are ya?
Jayde [00:02:42] I'm really well, actually. You've caught me in a really good space in my life, actually. How are you?
Annie [00:02:49] Oh, that's brill. I'm happy to hear that. I am good. I am also feeling optimistic. I'm delighted you're here. Thanks so much for taking the time. You do so much. I just loved doing the research for you. You span a lot of things within entertainment. Snack guru.
Jayde [00:03:07] Oh, yeah.
Annie [00:03:08] Actress, comedian, dancer, TV host. I didn't even know until I started researching you properly that you've done proper TV, like hosting. You've done Netflix shows, you know, mad!
Jayde [00:03:20] I know, it's one of those. Like, I love the fact that Netflix, Amazon Prime- I love a streaming service me. But it does mean that you don't know- this is what the massive issue that happens every time Strictly's announced, everyone's like 'who?!', but there are so many different platforms for people to be famous on nowadays that you just don't recognise anyone. I never do either. The only person I knew was me. That's not true but erm.
Annie [00:03:47] So how are you about change? Are you good at it? Do you like it?
Jayde [00:03:51] I'm much better as I get older. And also, the more I'm in control of my existence, the more I'm in control of my life and I'm not adhering to someone else, the better I am at change. Because I'm like, really good at adapting. I don't know if you believe in all of this Annie but I love having a chat about horiscopes.
Annie [00:04:11] Oh do you, okay so what are you?
Jayde [00:04:11] Sagittarius.
Annie [00:04:13] Okay, what does that mean? Because I am a horoscope like-
Jayde [00:04:15] What are you?
Annie [00:04:17] I'm Cancer.
Jayde [00:04:18] Oh, you're like, the loveliest sign.
Annie [00:04:20] I'm a leaker. I cry alot.
Jayde [00:04:21] Yeah, you're deeply emotional, but also really loyal. And I love a Cancer.
Annie [00:04:26] Oh, good. So what does Sagittarius mean?
Jayde [00:04:30] Sagittarius, I'm sort of like, you know, a bit wild and love a bit of travel and change. Actually, change is sort of cool in a Sagittarius' world, but it hasn't been in my life at periods because I've been out of control of stuff. Change is always difficult when you don't feel like you've got a grasp of what's going on around you at the time. But I'm not in that place now. I also, change is part of my- you said it already in my lovely opening, I do lots of different things.
Annie [00:05:00] Sure.
Jayde [00:05:00] And that's because I love changing it up and I love switching from things. Like for me, I feel like I've nailed comedy now. To me, having an Amazon Prime special that did as well as it did, is it. And I'm like, ah right, I'll just carry on.
Annie [00:05:15] Ticked that box.
Jayde [00:05:16] So I've ticked that and now I want to nail acting. So the next five years for me, I'm going to really sort of focus on it. I've never had acting lessons or anything, but I'm sort of getting to know how to do auditions and things like that and I'm getting parts, so that's nice. So I'm just going to focus on that for five years now. And that's why I sort of build up a sort of plethora of things that I'm good at, because I just sort of focus my attention on it and forget the past and just move forward all the time. So actually, yeah I love change.
Annie [00:05:46] That sounds really- it's really impressive when someone can be that focused and kind of strategic in a constructive way about their career. Like just knowing exactly what you're going to do and being quite like, pinpointed about it and being like, okay, that's that. Where does that come from, that laser sharp focus?
Jayde [00:06:03] I think, I mean, in the most cheesiest of ways, I think it's because I'm loved. So I've got like true love in my life. I've got like, I know I'm loved. I don't like- if I'm feeling lonely, I'll check the calendar to see if my periods on it's way because I don't ever trust it, because I'm not a lonely person. I'm so surrounded by people who care about me. I had a birthday party recently Annie, last year I had a birthday party and I'd had like a really good year, like just a whole year. My New Year's resolution last year was to do an entire year of no guilt and no shame. So I actually, I just did this whole year, felt really good, and I was coming up to my birthday and I was like, you know what? I'm going to put a party on for my birthday and invite a whole bunch of people that I care about. And I put out about 100 invitations, about 50 people turned up. It was a small sort of top end of a pub, so it was actually- if everyone had turned up, it would have been a nightmare. But 50 people who really care about me were all there. And I looked around the room and I was like, I cannot believe I've got to a point in my life and I am loved by all these really cool people. And everyone got on with each other. They didn't really know each other. So this was like a sneaky- so I'm going to be 40. Not soon, but I'm thinking about-.
Annie [00:07:18] 38, no?
Jayde [00:07:18] I'm 38, yeah. So I'm, I'm thinking about my 40th, it's in two years because like, I'm not getting married at any time, so I'm never getting married. That's just never happening in my life, I'm sure of it. And then flash forward two years and I'm like, *high pitched voice* 'I'm getting maried Annie!!'.
Annie [00:07:31] That's what I said! I said I'd never get married.
Jayde [00:07:34] I just don't see it happening, but you never know. But I'm going to plan my 40th like I would plan a wedding. So this was the sort of preliminary sort of test to see if everyone got on with each other, because I'd really love to do a weekend with my friends. But like, everyone.
Annie [00:07:47] It's a bit like cooking, like bringing people together. It's a lot of that, it's a lot of alchemy and kind of, who will work with who. I get such a buzz out of that, when people from different worlds collide and like, get on. It's such a buzz.
Jayde [00:08:00] They all got on so well. That was the thing, and everyones-
Annie [00:08:03] That's because you're the common ground, you're the thread. So if they love you, they're going to love each other.
Jayde [00:08:08] And that was what the feeling was, is that I looked around that room and I got the bar tab. I said to them all, I think after sixteen negronis, I said to them all erm, just, you know, like I've got the bar tab because I want to say thank you to all of you, because without your love, I wouldn't be able to do what I do. And that's what it is. And like, you know, you lose stuff all the time and you focus on that. And actually, the minute I started focusing on what is actually around me instead of what I could have or what is out there, I was like ah actually no, I feel fine.
Annie [00:08:42] Can we talk about your sister, talking about losing stuff. Is that allowed?
Jayde [00:08:46] Always.
Annie [00:08:46] I don't want to assume that we can just go straight there.
Jayde [00:08:49] We can always talk about Jenna. I bloody love it. I love talking about her.
Annie [00:08:51] Is it true that Jenna, your sister, is the reason why you became a comedian in the first place?
Jayde [00:08:57] Yeah, I mean, it's like some producer from the Britain's Got Talent wrote my story, but basically, when she was diagnosed with having a brain tumour.
Annie [00:09:09] Yeah.
Jayde [00:09:09] Which I had never heard of before, she was. I was like, what? And they were like, she's got a brain tumour. I was like, what, that's nuts, no one in the family- So she got diagnosed, turned up to the hospital and everyone was doing what everyone does. This is why I feel I'm better than people Annie *laughs*.
Annie [00:09:26] Go on, talk to me.
Jayde [00:09:26] Because when someone is sick or ill, I will do what I think they want instead of what I really want to do, which is like feel sad and be sympathetic and all this. So I got there and I don't know where this ability has come from, but when she was there, I think this must have been the moment where I realised I was like, ooh, I've got a job. But she sort of leaned into me and she said to me, will you start making everyone laugh because they're all looking at me like I'm about to die and it's do my fucking nut in. And so I was like, ooh, I've got a job now. The most important person in this room right now has given me a job.
Annie [00:09:58] I have a purpose.
Jayde [00:09:59] I've got purpose in this scenario. And that is like, I feel like one of my biggest talents I have is being able to work out what people in tense situations need from me, whether that's pissing off or being helpful, but never making it about me. Like, bring a lasagne. I dunno, like just do something useful. It's just so easy to just try and do something without having to ask someone first as well. But I just, I did that with her for the whole time. I mean, to the point I think she probably would have liked me to have taken it seriously at some point in those six years, but I never did. As far as I was concerned to her, she was living a long life and she wasn't allowed to become a person with cancer. Like, I didn't want that for her. I remember we lost her in erm, we were in Clarks once buying some shoes. And this was like, after her operation where they removed like nearly 50% of it and some of her brain.
Annie [00:11:02] Can I ask how old she was?
Jayde [00:11:05] So she died at 28. So that would have been maybe four years before that, 24. She was really young. But yeah, so they removed some of her brain and some of the tumour, but there was still some left and then she was going to keep that managed with like, various pills. She rattled in the morning. But she like became her brain tumour, which is exactly what you would do. I mean if I got a brain tumour it would be really hard not to. But she became the sadness of it, and at the age of 26 I found that really difficult. But yeah, we lost her in Clarks. We were walking around and then all of a sudden she's gone, and she was stood *laughing* talking to the poor shoe woman about her brain tumour and going into graphic detail about the operation she had. And I came over to her and she was like, 'look, this is the scar and those holes there, that's where the staples went!' *both laughing*.
Annie [00:12:02] Oh my God.
Jayde [00:12:07] Yeah, and I was 26. I was so young and insecure and I didn't have any confidence. She was my confidence, so if she told me to do something, I did it. Like she was the only person in the world that'd give me any shit whatsoever. She just absolutely adored me. She thought I was funny. I used to like, throw my bag on the floor as a kid walking from primary school and she'd, like, pick it up because she'd know we'd get in trouble. She was protecting me from bullies. Beat seven bells of shit out of a lad at school who hit me in the stomach with a hockey stick. He got in so much trouble. They had a scrap on the floor. Basically we went to the headmaster's office, and he hadn't left a mark, even though he'd beaten her up as well. So she, like, said to me, come to the toilet. And then she tried to make me punch her in the eye in the toilet *Annie laughs* so he'd have left a mark, but I didn't do it so she did it herself. And he got in loads of trouble.
Annie [00:13:03] Wow.
Jayde [00:13:05] I know, she was tough. This is the thing about her, like talking about her. Whenever someone dies, everyone becomes like, just a bit of a, you know they talk about them like they're Jesus or something. And I'm like, nah.
Annie [00:13:15] Totally.
Jayde [00:13:17] Such a real girl.
Annie [00:13:19] Yeah.
Jayde [00:13:20] I think keeping her memory alive for me is is about telling the truth, which is that she, you know, girl was a bit rough sometimes and I loved her for it.
Annie [00:13:29] Yeah.
Jayde [00:13:29] She was wild.
Annie [00:13:31] So there was six years from when you found out she had the tumour to when she passed. And in those six years, that must have been- like how did your relationship with her change, if at all?
Jayde [00:13:40] Oh, it changed completely. She went from being this sister who fought bullies for me and I looked up to her and she was the most popular girl at school, to the exact opposite of it. The last ever conversation I had with her was on the Wednesday before she died. So she died on the Easter Sunday because, you know, girl likes to make an exit *Annie laughs*. And the Wednesday, she phoned me up and she was crying about- she was crying that her best mate hadn't told her that she was getting engaged and she'd found out from the internet and she was- like, she was so lonely when she died *catches her breath*.
Annie [00:14:17] Yeah.
Jayde [00:14:17] It was ermm-
Annie [00:14:22] So she lost friends in the process.
Jayde [00:14:25] She lost everyone.
Annie [00:14:26] Right.
Jayde [00:14:27] She lost everything. Everything she had. And also as a popular person will discover as they get older, who peaked at school, they are left without the skills. We're seeing it in the traitors. I love that programme. And there's this guy on there who's like, really popular and good looking, and he's the one that keeps breaking down in tears and it's because he has no-.
Annie [00:14:46] Yes, I've seen him do that.
Jayde [00:14:46] He has no armour to deal with this. I'm sat there going 'oooh popular boy. Not being able to handle not being popular. eughhh'. And it's the same, she had no skills to be able to deal with this because life was so easy for her. And then all of a sudden life gets tough. But it's not just tough. It's a brain tumour and then it's death. I mean, *sobbing* knowing that she was so lonely when she died is like, I think one of, it's been one of the sort of hardest things about her. And I think that's probably why I'm still so emotional about it because there's nothing that time will do in order to change that feeling of regret for her. But, you know, it's no one's fault, it's a brain tumour. It's not fun to hang out with. It's like people with mental health issues. It's like people who kill themselves. They, you know, it's not like they have like a really amazing life up until that point where they're like, just lovely to everyone. It's really hard to be around people who can't function and can't be compassionate or empathetic themselves. It's really hard to be around. And I, you know, like forgiving yourself for that and forgiving myself for it. And I think her friends forgiving themselves has been all part of our sort of grief process, but also means all of us feel so guilty that we keep her memory alive every year. And we had like the most amazing party- we had like on the fifth- so I had a big party for me. Three weeks before that, on the 5th of November, because she was born on bonfire night because she likes to make an entry *both laugh*. It's really difficult to forget about her - bonfire night and Easter Sunday. And that day, the date of her death day, the 24th of April splits up from Easter Sunday and will not come back together. So it's basically a month. It's a month of sadness. If I see those little chickens and those Easter bonnets, I'm fucked.
Annie [00:16:43] Oh my God. You said last year you had this year of guilt free and shame free. Was that something to do with how you felt about Jenna? Was that part of it?
Jayde [00:16:54] Yeah, I think it was like, I had spent ten years feeling so guilty and feeling so much shame *starts to cry* that I didn't erm-
Annie [00:17:07] And what was the shame from? Is that from Jenna too, or is that from elsewhere?
Jayde [00:17:12] Just being embarrassed about stuff and like, you know, not feeling confident where I need to. And I also making really bad decisions for myself and having the wrong people in my life and having toxic relationships. This is the first year I have entered a new year with no toxic relationships in my life.
Annie [00:17:30] Wow.
Jayde [00:17:30] I can't believe it. I can't believe there's not a single person that can phone my phone and my stomach doesn't flip over. There's no one. I've never entered a year with that at all. I'm always tolerating something from someone. And I'm not anymore. I'm sure it'll come back round and there'll be someone I'm tolerating again. But it's just nice to go into a new year without that feeling, you know?
Annie [00:17:55] But it's interesting how like you- again, in the same way that you use that kind of focus on your career, you used to on yourself. It's like you finally used it on yourself. You turned around and went, no, no, no, I want my life to improve in this way, and this is how I'm going to do it.
Jayde [00:18:14] I just thought, I've had enough. I've had enough of think- d'you know what, I had a therapist called Ameeta. I love her. I hope she listens to this.
Annie [00:18:23] Okay.
Jayde [00:18:24] I haven't been back for ages. She sort of sorted me out, and I haven't been back. And every now and again I like phone her up and I'm like, *sad voice* this has happened. And she tells me an amazing thing and I'm like, thanks! And then I don't speak to her again.
Annie [00:18:34] But that's the sign of a good therapist. You need to say goodbye to a therapist. That's when it works.
Jayde [00:18:38] She's incredible. She just says things and I'm like, *sighs* I can't believe I'm paying someone to tell me what I should already know *Annie laughs*. But she said to me, she said, the reason why you find yourself having situations with people that are stressful, so like personal relationships not working out or maybe business relationships not working out or something like that. The reason you might rub up against someone in the wrong way and not understand why is because I don't see myself the way other people see me. She said, you see yourself as the sort of lonely girl that was ignored at school and had no friends and your sister used to fight all your battles, but when you walk into a room Jayde you soak up everything and everyone's looking at you. So she said, when you have a discussion with someone or anything, they will think about that forever and it might be some thing you're just firing out there, but that person will think about that meeting they've had with you. And the reason is, is because you've spent your whole life trying not to be the girl that's ignored. And now you physically and emotionally and in your job made it impossible to ignore you. And now you're surprised why people find falling out with you so difficult. And I was like, wow.
Annie [00:19:52] *Laughs* wow!
Jayde [00:19:52] And she basically gave me this whole like, with great power comes great responsibility chat. And it was sort of a telling off as well.
Annie [00:20:00] Yeah.
Jayde [00:20:01] And it just changed everything. And I was like, oh, I don't see myself the way the people- and I had to start admitting that I'm wicked. And actually, it's made me a better person. It's made me make better decisions. I now am responsible for my effect on people, and now I'm having a much happier life. And it made me just end stuff and not like I don't want to end stuff in a way where it's like carrying on. Like if I'm ending something, it's because it's done and it's over. And I don't want nothing left. I don't want nothing else, sorry. And I don't want to affect that person's life in any way. It's not like I'm like, it's over, but I'm going to just keep checking anyway to see if youre- it's not that, it's just like once I'm done I'm done.
Annie [00:20:46] Done? Yeah. God, that must have been erm- that must have been really something kind of editing those people out of your life. Was it easy or hard?
Jayde [00:20:57] It's taken loads of time. It's taking my whole adult life to just do it and feel confident enough to go, no, I'm not going to be treated like this. I'm so generous and I'm like, so nice. I'm sarcastic and if you got a spot on the end of your nose I'm gonna talk about it sort of vibes, but I'm not, like, rude about it. But I think sometimes it's quite a lot for people.
Annie [00:21:20] Yeah.
Jayde [00:21:21] And that's okay. Last year I met a guy at a bar and it's the first time I've done that in a very long time. Years and years and years. And I was in a bar and he came over and then we switched numbers after having a couple of drinks and then we were texting for like six days. And I, I just said, I just one day just started making loads of hints, really obvious ones that I might want to hang out in person face to face. And he was like talking to me all the time on text messaging and I was like, oh, okay, this iwill be easy. I'll just, I'll just drop some seeds, let them grow. He wasn't picking up on this or he was and he was ignoring it. So then I just stopped wanting to have WhatsApp banter with him and I just said, look, I've left some quite huge hints I want to hang out again and you're not picking up on them. And then he said, *laughs* sort of did this weird invite to the local pub that didn't have a question at the end of it. And he was like, maybe I'll be at the pub all day tomorrow and I was like, is that a question? Are you asking me out? And he said, yeah, let's go for a swift half. And I went, look *clears throat* I don't know if you've Googled me yet *Annie laughs*, but the words swift and half are not really anything that you should be saying to me right now. And if you are not absolutely pleased as punch to be dating someone who is an actual movie star, then you need to like go off and have a word with yourself. But I wished him happy birthday *both laugh*.
Annie [00:22:49] But that's such growth. Like it's funny, isn't it? There's certain things that like, are kind of measures of when you're grown, right, like having a mortgage or owning a lawnmower or I don't know. But that is it. That knowing that someone is not going to be good for you. And even if you're kind of tempted just to go there, being like nah, my needs are not going to be met by you, so this isn't happening.
[00:23:27] *Short musical interlude*.
Annie [00:23:28] Okay, Jayde, let's talk about the first change question, which is the biggest change of your childhood. Looking back, what would that be, please?
Jayde [00:23:37] I think that must have been when I didn't go to the school that everyone else went to. So I went to a primary school up the road from my mum and dad's house and it wasn't like, bad, but, you know, there were like all sorts of different levels of kids. No one was rich at the school. It wasn't like a posh primary school or anything it was just a normal primary school. But there were some kids there who were like really poor. And it also meant because of tha, there was a lot of, sort of, there was a bit of bullying and stuff there. We were by no stretch of any imagination rich kids at all. My mum and dad are- Mum worked at Asda, Dad worked at Airbus which is pretty much the most Bristolian thing I could ever say in a sentence.
Annie [00:24:25] What is Airbus.
Jayde [00:24:26] Airbus is the plant that makes the wing of the jumbo jet for the easyJet aeroplane. And my dad's worked there for 30/40 years and he's so good at his job that they tried to convince him to come back by quadrupling his annual salary for one year and he was like, nah I've retired, I'm off. But he's worked- he's done so well. Like he's just really specifically good at his job. So it's like he's, you know, neither of them have sort of ever been to uni or anything, but actually I've had a nice childhood with them and they've always been mad supportive of anything that any of us want to do. There's never been a no. So basically this change was, when we were going to this secondary school, we chose like this nice secondary school that you had to go to church to get in. And Mum had been sending us to Sunday school for seven years without going herself to church. Not a religious woman, but she wanted Sundays off and for us to get into Redcliffe, which was the best school in the area. Best grades, comprehensive. So we got in, letter of recommendation from the Rev. We got in both me and my sister. It was easier for me because she was already there.
Annie [00:25:36] Yeah.
Jayde [00:25:37] And to begin with I sort of gravitated towards the popular kids as someone who would have been picked on does. And then I ended up with the wrong kids and they lit the school toilets on fire and then they all ganged up and blamed me. And then I was sat on my own and then two middle class girls from the school came over to me, asked me if I was okay, and welcomed me into the music room and changed my life in that moment. I went from, the only creative outlet I had was freestyle disco dancing at my aunties dance school, and now I was part of a music room and I stayed there for like four years. We were in the choir. I learned how to sing- well I wasn't as good as I am now, but I sort of learned about music, got into classical music, was in the school musicals, and it really just changed everything. And probably the reason I'm sat here, through a series of sliding doors, the reason I'm sat here talking to you now is because of my mother's decision to send us to that school.
Annie [00:26:30] Was Red Church different than the first school you talked about? Was it the same school?
Jayde [00:26:34] No, so Redcliffe-.
Annie [00:26:35] Redcliffe sorry.
Jayde [00:26:35] Is the secondary school, so St Mary Redcliffe and Temple School and then Victoria Park Junior School was the other one. And it was just a primary school. But it wasn't, it wasn't very nice for me. I was picked on. I mean there's a lot of, there might be some people that I went to school with that would be really surprised to hear me saying that, I know that's happened.
Annie [00:26:55] And why would that be? What were you like in school?
Jayde [00:26:58] Fat, chubby.
Annie [00:27:00] But personality wise?
Jayde [00:27:01] It was all about being fat. The only shit I got was that I was fat, oh and that I had yellow teeth. That was my thing. It's really simple. When you get picked on at school, when you're little, it's always some thing. It's never like a deeper. It's never deep. It's like she's fat. Oh, and she's got yellow teeth. And there was another girl that I think was massively picked on in primary school who was also fat. There was a real thing about weight, but also the bullying came from people who had terrible parents who probably were really angry and skint and, you know, the money thing meant that they couldn't control their behaviour. And I'm such a people pleaser and I was such a needy person for so long. I was a bull's eye for them because, you know, I didn't have the sort of self-esteem to go, 'no!', because I was what, ten.
Annie [00:27:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah. So secondary school then you found this group and you found the music room and that gave you a kind of, a sense of purpose.
Jayde [00:28:05] I love to cook, it's my- don't tell comedy but I prefer cooking.
Annie [00:28:10] You're so good at so many things, Jayde!
Jayde [00:28:12] I know.
Annie [00:28:12] Oh my God.
Jayde [00:28:14] *Laughing* I love it.
Annie [00:28:16] When did you start cooking?
Jayde [00:28:18] When I was about nine or ten. This is what happens when you got no friends, you hang out with your mum. And I hung out with mum and she used to have me stand next to her and watch her cook. So, I think by the time I was 12, I was able to cook roast dinners. I love to cook for people. So my new house I've bought, my plan is I'm having like an 18 seater table in the kitchen so I can have huge, massive dinner parties. And I'm having like the stove on the island so I can look at everyone whilst I'm cooking. And eventually I'm going to have like some sort of erm, I'd like a series where it's just like drinking and like-
Annie [00:28:53] Like Nigella, but you and your kitchen.
Jayde [00:28:56] Yeah, but me and my kitchen and not as posh. I think having some wild working class people peppered around that table pissed on Negronis, that is a series.
Annie [00:29:05] *Laughs* I would watch that, in a heartbeat. So you're in the kitchen with your mam. You're 10, 11. What kind of woman is your mam and how did she influence you growing up?
Jayde [00:29:17] She is a woman who's been through quite a lot and is okay. So she's lost a kid, which I'd say some people would probably feel is imaginable. But I went to see Bryony Kimmings' show about her son getting ill and it was I'm a Phoenix, Bitch, it's amazing. It's not on anymore, but it was amazing. And I did that classic thing and I've had it happen to me and it's really annoying but I was crying my eyes out and she was in the bar and I know her and I was like, 'Bryony, how did you cope?' And then I was crying on her and I was like, 'just look at that situation and I'm like, how did my mum cope with losing my sister'. And she said, because she had you and your brother. I've got brother as well. She said, because she's got you two and she has to, she just has to get on with it. And like, you know, like it was a really sort of important lesson, which is you just have to get on with it. I know we all laugh at those mugs that you can get from all the tourist places, which is the keep calm and carry on. But it's a really good motto to have and it's why, you know, like we shit on this country quite a lot, but we've got something that the Americans don't have, which is this ability to just be like, oh right.
Annie [00:30:28] The kind of stiff upper lip vibe, the kind of like, just get on with it.
Jayde [00:30:31] Power through.
Annie [00:30:31] Yeah, power through yeah.
Jayde [00:30:32] You know, like the ability to not have as much drama. And I know there's going to be American people listening to this who are going to be really offended by me saying this, but it is a quite a dramatic country. Lots of massive, huge things happen. And I sometimes get annoyed that sometimes we drag ourselves to that dramatic place as well. Like especially with sort of the way people are on social media. I've just got really into using my close friends thing on Instagram, so like-
Annie [00:31:02] I need to do that.
Jayde [00:31:03] I just post to like 30 people that I really like and I say whatever I want and I love it. Because every time I post on my social media now I've been on Strictly I get erm, even if it's negative, I get people going 'Love you, babe. Hugs, hope you're okay'. But like, I'm being sarcastic but yeah, you know, like they don't get that I'm sort of over. I'm just talking about it. Or if I'm like, slightly controversial, which as a stand up comedian, like, I don't really want people policing the way I speak, but they'll be like, *high pitched whine* 'erm I really liked you on Strictly. But I don't like that you've said that'. And I'm like-.
Annie [00:31:37] Oh God.
Jayde [00:31:39] So I feel a bit trapped.
Annie [00:31:41] Yeah fair.
Jayde [00:31:42] So I've just started using close friends. It's incredible. And I like, I just say whatever I want to say. And they all get me. They understand.
Annie [00:31:50] Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about then that time in London when you moved for good, you're getting shows. The drag scene was a big deal, was a big part of you and your life then. What did the drag scene do for you?
Jayde [00:32:04] Well, I couldn't get into Stand-Up. Like, say my first gig, it was in the Queen of Oxton with a load of like, cabaret performers. And I tried to find a way into Stand-Up, but everyone was really unfriendly that I messaged and they didn't reply, or they just were short. I don't know if you've met other stand up comedians, but they are some of the worst people imaginable.
Annie [00:32:23] Why do you think that is?
Jayde [00:32:24] Because being a Stand-Up comedian is a very powerful position. If you work out a formula to make someone laugh, you can be really influential on that person. So when you find positions of power like that, you will find terrible people floating around trying to be in that position. But the thing is, with comedy, it is a formula. So, some people have like a sort of natural, innate ability to make people laugh. HIYA!
Annie [00:32:49] Yeah, funny boned, yeah.
Jayde [00:32:53] Funny boned, and then some people learn how to do it, but you will always find in positions of power like that- That's why everyone's like, oh my God, like there's so many bad people in the entertainment industry. And I'm like, how are you surprised by this? Like as soon as you see that, you'll always see the worst people nearby trying to be it because it is a really- like I stand on stage in front of thousands of people who love me and I can get them to do anything I want as well. I tend to keep it all like nice and compassionate and empathetic and lovely. I don't tend to get them to do bad stuff, but I could! There's a way of doing it. I'm bringing it up again. We're watching The Traitors. We're watching about how easy it is to influence people when there is stuff at stake, and it is, as a comedian, quite easy to manipulate an audience for sure. But that's why.
Annie [00:33:44] I mean, watching you on stage, I am always just in awe of stand-up's because of the confidence it takes to be able to harness that power and own it and kind of sit comfortably in that position where you are so influential over people. I'm just in awe of the level of confidence it takes for you just to walk out on stage and fucking own it in the way that you do.
Jayde [00:34:09] It's the day that you realise- because it does look massively impressive when you look at it from the outside and you've not been able to do it. Once you have done it for a while, there's like a click that happens and you're like, oh, this isn't as hard as I have been convincing myself that it is so I don't actually succeed. And in fact, what the audience want for me is for me to go up there and own it. And they want to feel-
Annie [00:34:34] Yeah, they need you to do that.
Jayde [00:34:35] They need me, they want me to tell them what we're doing and where we're going. They want to feel safe in my hands. And that's all they want. They just want me to do well. Alll audiences are willing their act to do that. And yeah, and I think once you work that click out in your body and you just decide. And I think it really helps that I've got, you know, I sort of held the person I love the most in the world as she died. I think I've got this armour that I am so lucky to have. A really unfortunate way of getting it, but I wear it with absolute pride, which is there's nothing an audience can do to hurt me because the worse thing that I will ever go through has already happened. So what else you got?
[00:35:17] *Short musical interlude*
Annie [00:35:28] Talking about the grief from Jenna. You talk about Jenna on stage. Was that part of it? Was that something you needed to do and what did that do for your grief?
Jayde [00:35:37] I just feel like comedy is so important, the practice of comedy. It's the only thing that's helped me with my grief. Because I think that, well, the formula is tragedy, plus time, equals comedy. So comedy doesn't exist without tragedy.
Annie [00:35:56] I've never heard of that formula before.
Jayde [00:35:58] Yeah. I didn't come up with it. But it was sort of an old fashioned sort of idea. I mean, a lot of sort of- you talk to a lot of straight white guys who get angry about not getting gigs and stuff would say, why does everyone do a sad show? And I've done several. I don't do sad shows. I make people laugh for 55 minutes and then at the end I'll like say some poignant thing about something I care about, you know?
Annie [00:36:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jayde [00:36:24] My tickets sell, alright *both laugh*. But I feel like, for me, like the most important thing for my grief, because grief is love and it's like that's, you know, like the the loss of something is just so hard to- And we're all going to go through it. And, you know what, there is an absolutely nothing in our education system to help us manage something we're all going to go through and is detrimental to being able to live as a functioning adult. And I at some point in my career, another plan I've got is I want to get comedy into the curriculum. Because I just believe that people, kids need to know how to communicate right and talk about these terrible things that happen to them in a way where they can communicate. Because we're all sort of locked inside. But if we look at the history of art and the history of everything, the best of the best of all people that have got a story behind them.
Annie [00:37:29] Always, always.
Jayde [00:37:30] Always. You know, even if it's if it's a painter, we don't give a shit about him until he's popped it. Like, you know, like the story behind it is the most important thing in life.
Annie [00:37:39] And a lot of the time that story is tragic. If you look at the singers, you know, the best singers in the world are the ones who have experienced the most pain. You know, a lot of the time.
Jayde [00:37:51] And look at our girl, Adele. The happier she gets *laughs* the less hits that happen on the album.
Annie [00:37:56] Look at Whitney.
Jayde [00:37:58] Ahh, Whitney. Tragedy.
Annie [00:38:00] Amy, you know.
Jayde [00:38:02] And d'you know why tragedy is so interesting for people?
Annie [00:38:06] Tina. Sorry, I could keep going.
Jayde [00:38:06] Tina. Oh my God, keep going. Babe, you could literally, like-
Annie [00:38:11] Aretha must have had some. I think she did. I don't know.
Jayde [00:38:13] She did. Billie Holiday. I mean Joanie, the pain of Joanie is just like. It's just all over her, isn't it? She doesn't necessarily communicate it on podcasts, but.
Annie [00:38:24] George Michael. Elton.
Jayde [00:38:27] Geroge Michael, Elton, everyone's got- yeah, look.
Annie [00:38:30] A journey of pain that they've had to channel into their art.
Jayde [00:38:34] My most successful weeks on Strictly Come Dancing were the weeks where I brought that stuff into it. So like, flashdance with my body positivity, and in the week I spoke about Jenna, but the week I did a Charleston about Victoria Wood and I wasn't dressed sexy but that's another conversation we'll have about how people feel about women on Strictly. *High mocking voice* Gotta be sexy babes that's it, don't like me in a pair of dungarees is it? No, alright. Erm, I'm out of the competition.
Annie [00:39:02] Seriously? That was the week when you wore the dungarees.
Jayde [00:39:04] One week I didn't dress sexy, and I'm out.
Annie [00:39:05] Oh my God. Wow.
Jayde [00:39:09] It's funny when you get out of it. Because it is the greatest show on television. And I recommend it.
Annie [00:39:13] Yeah, it was part your plan, wasn't it? You wanted to do that.
Jayde [00:39:16] Always, yeah, yeah, And you know what? I did exactly what I wanted to do, which is I go in there, and I had this Guardian article that said, I'm going to smash strictly'. And for me, I did. The Flashdance routine is the most viewed video on the entire series online. I think Helen Skelton's cabaret is actually coming up behind me. But I mean, that was fabulous as well. Again, a piece of performance with a lot of story behind it. There's, you know, like all the subtext surrounding her life and everything like, you know, guess what? Really, really popular dance on the show because do you know what? People are going through this stuff as well and seeing someone being able to channel that through creativity, is just amazing. And I would like to encourage a world in which children are encouraged to channel the things that they have going on through comedy.
Annie [00:40:09] Creativity, yeah.
Jayde [00:40:10] Creativity, and specifically comedy, because I just know that world really well and it has literally been the thing that saved me.
Annie [00:40:18] Really?
Jayde [00:40:18] Yeah.
Annie [00:40:20] I mean, what is it about the- just the act of talking through something like this.
Jayde [00:40:25] Makes me get over it, makes me find humour in it, stops it from being so painful because the pain is there and then as soon as you start talking about it over and over and over again, you kind of bore yourself. I mean, at the end of my 2016 show which was about Jenna, it was the first time I'd made people sit down and listen to the way I felt when Jenna died, because everyone had their own version of the grief and I had no one listening to me. So I spent five years. It was five years until I put that on because remember the formula guys, tragedy plus time-
Annie [00:41:01] Time!
Jayde [00:41:02] Equals comedy. Don't do it a week after.
Annie [00:41:05] Yeah, you need time.
Jayde [00:41:06] I need the time to find it funny. And also to be able to handle someone from the list giving you two stars. Not that I remember all of my reviews from back then *both laugh*, but you need to be able to handle stuff like that as well. The show was really successful, but there was like one person that gave me a two star review and the way it was written as well, I remember I had a real freak out about it, but it's all fine, doesn't matter, it's not affected me at all. But I think, you know, finding some humour in my situation and, you know what, not feeling like a victim! Lets put it out there, my best friend Sophie Willan, who I did Alma's Not Normal with-
Annie [00:41:46] Who's been on this podcast, who we love.
Jayde [00:41:48] Has she been on! Oh I love that.
Annie [00:41:49] Yeah.
Jayde [00:41:49] Well she got me this book. She's so funny. I talk about this on my new show that I'm touring this year.
Annie [00:41:57] Brilliant.
Jayde [00:41:57] *Smoozy voice* But lots of it sold out, so get in quick. It's called Men I Can Save You and I talk about a time where Sophie and I were hanging out and she just sort of, she went, I want to recommend you something, it's a book. Now, I know you don't read but it's dead thin *Annie laughs*. It's called Breaking Free of Drama Triangle and Victim Consciousness. Now don't be afraid-.
Annie [00:42:18] *Laughing loudly* She talked about that on Changes too!!!
Jayde [00:42:18] Did she?! *laughs*. She has turned me into some evangelical- It's a book, you can get it on Amazon Prime. I bought a whole bunch of people this book, it's amazing. It's dead thin and it just teaches you to keep yourself out of these sort of dramatic things. So when I first saw the drama triangle I was like, I'm definitely a saviour. All I do is help people. She was like, that's not good. And then it sort of picks apart why each of like, the victim and the persecutor and the saviour are all terrible traits to have and why they don't work in sort of social situations. And ever since that's happened, I've just, I have become really evangelical about it because now I recognise when I am letting myself be a victim or if I'm trying to save someone because I want to be like shown as being a good person. Or if I'm actively making someone's life uncomfortable though, I would say that I try not to do that one as much as possible. But also at the same time, by trying not to be a persecutor so much, I then end up becoming a victim because I don't tell people how I'm feeling. So it's like a real-
Annie [00:43:24] Right, so it's this constant dance of trying to not fall too hard into any of those categories.
Jayde [00:43:30] Yeah.
Annie [00:43:30] Wow.
Jayde [00:43:31] I just *sighs* boundaries, really. I mean, boundaries are my hardest, I think my Everest is boundaries and being able to tell people close to me that I don't like the way that they're treating me right now. That's so hard. I love meeting new people because I can be this person with new people. But it's hard with the people from the past. You're like, nope, that's not how this is going to go. No, no, no.
[00:43:52] *Short musical interlude*
Annie [00:43:59] Right, Jade. The biggest change that happened to you as an adult?
Jayde [00:44:03] Losing Jenna.
Annie [00:44:03] Yeah.
Jayde [00:44:05] And yeah, losing Jenna was definitely the biggest change that happened to me as an adult. There's nothing else.
Annie [00:44:11] There's a quote from something that you wrote on Instagram where you said, 'grieving for her is the most important thing I do, and I'm happy to do it forever'.
Jayde [00:44:21] Yeah.
Annie [00:44:21] I thought that was so beautiful.
Jayde [00:44:23] Yeah. It's like it makes my life have meaning. Gives me perspective. Also stops me from being lonely. I'm never lonely. I'm alone. But I'm not lonely. And that's okay. I'm like, sort of- that's what my new series is about, actually. The new series that I've got for Itvx that I'm in the middle of filming at the moment, Ruby speaking. It's all about the sort of difference between being lonely and being alone and communication and connectivity and how we're losing that because everyone's texting. Text, text, text, it's all written down. No, say stuff.
Annie [00:44:57] Was there a point when you realised that? When you realised the line and that you were on the side of that you were alone and not lonely? Like, was there a kind of moment where you're like, okay, I'm never going to be lonely because of this.
Jayde [00:45:10] Listen to this. Yeah, there was. And when I tell you, I'm probably going to cry because it's so moving. But basically, *laughs* what you guys can't see is like, right now I'm like squeezing my tear ducts in my eyes.
Annie [00:45:23] Under her glasses.
Jayde [00:45:25] So I can just say this without crying. But basically in 2020, in the middle of the pandemic, but I lived in Leigh-On-Sea and I was looking out of my window and I had my headphones on, these ones actually, and I was listening to a playlist that I'd got the Internet to put together called The Internet's Favourite Classical Music. And I was listening to it on repeat, and a piece of music comes on by Wagner, which is Tristan Und Isolde Part Three, which is the same music that Baslerman plays over Romeo and Juliet at the end. At the very end, when they go back in the water. And I was there and I was looking out the window and I was like, ooh! And I was in the middle of writing somet that I'm writing about me and my sister, but it's about a sort of 14 year old and a 16 year old. And I was looking out the window and I was thinking about like, ooh, wouldn't it be just fantastic to have a working class series with like really epic music. So like my favourite movie is Strictly Ballroom. And one of the things I love about it is everyone is rough as hell, but it's all set to classical music, like you've got the blues and --- and stuff because it's all ballroom and I was like, ahh I would love to do that in a series. So I was like, great I'm going to have like the older sister character die in the arms of someone she loves. How dramatic would that be like to this piece of music as she falls? So I called up my script editor and I said, ooh, I've- I said, I'm going to have the older sister character, she's going to die in the arms of someone she loved. And she said, oooh, you mean her little sister? And I was like, what do you mean? And she was like, well she loves her little sister the most in the world. She would die in her arms, and I hadn't even considered it. And I realised for the first time ever in that moment, because I'd spent ten years taking the piss out of her in comedy, I realised that, this was 2020, that I was loved more than probably most people, and I spent my whole life running after the most popular people in school or secondary school or university and failing really miserably. And actually what I had was the most popular person at school loved me more than she loved anyone. And what it made me remember is this man who came up to me in my sister's wake. He'd been sort of running around trying to get me to talk to him all day. And I was so sick of people talking to me because come up to me going, 'oh my God, she was such an angel, Jenna!'. And I'm like, alright. It was an intense day for me that wake because everyone thought I'd replaced her and I'm nothing like my sister. I'm not as easy going. And this guy at the end of the wake, he came up to me and he was like, 'I've got to go home, I need to talk to you!' and I was like, right, chill out mate. And he said, 'I need to tell you something. Your sister. I'm her neighbour in Portsmouth, and you need to know that she came round every day and she spoke about you and she loved you very much and she was really proud' and I'd completely forgotten that he'd done this. And in that moment in 2020, I realised that I've been loved my entire life. And actually that love is immortalised forever and she isn't alive anymore to piss me off, so she can't even fuck it up *Annie laughs*. And like, if having that sort of love isn't enough, *welling up* then I'm not well, because you have to- you have to accept it when it's in front of you. And I think that if, if my sisters love for me isn't enough then I need to go and sort some shit out because it has to be enough to be loved by someone like her. That 11 years later, we are still memorialising by having huge parties at my mom's house and she keeps raising money for them. People still care. So she must have been pretty special, you know, and that her love has to be enough. And I think I've learnt that from the relationships I've had in my life that haven't worked, which is love has to be enough. And if it's not, you've got some shit you need to sort out.
Annie [00:49:18] So this scene that you were writing, did you change it?
Jayde [00:49:21] Yeah, yeah, she died in the arms of her sister.
Annie [00:49:25] Ahhh.
Jayde [00:49:25] I know. It's going to make everyone cry when I get to make it one day.
[00:49:29] *Short musical interlude*
Annie [00:49:39] I saw you doing call outs in Bristol and getting people with no experience to come in and try out to be part of it. How important is it for you to do that kind of thing in Bristol? To be able to go home, take what you've learned and take what you've achieved and kind of try and-
Jayde [00:49:52] It's so important. One of the hardest things about navigating this industry has been navigating it and having to pretend that I care about what privileged people give a shit about *Annie laughs* and sort of having to play a game with them. I've been dancing in this merry dance for quite some time, and what I really want to do is encourage a load of working class people to come and get into an industry. Because the other thing is, and this is what I've learnt being best mates with Sophie Willan as well-
Annie [00:50:20] Yeah.
Jayde [00:50:21] Is, do you know why British comedy is really struggling at the moment? It's because we have allowed Edinburgh Fringe, and I love Edinburgh Fringe, it's given me so much, but it's not like that for every working class performer. But we've allowed Edinburgh Fringe to sort of infiltrate comedy with loads of Cambridge and Oxbridge and Russell Educated University graduates. And guess what? They've all got the same story they're telling. So you don't have any new ones and it's like someone like Sophie Willan comes along who's got this mad life and loads of experience, and the reason why we love Alma's not Normal and it got five stars in The Guardian and five stars in The Daily Mail.
Annie [00:50:54] And the BAFTAs, yeah.
Jayde [00:50:56] And loads of BAFTAs and loads of RTS awards is because it's an entirely fresh story, which means it's brand new material. It's new jokes, it's new comedy. It's not new, it's just what comedy is but it feels so fresh because it is such a fresh perspective on life. And that's the thing. Like, I don't think everyone who went to all those universities is terrible. Obviously, that's not true. We've got some beloved people that have gone to it. I'm just saying, opening up that net, giving people opportunities from backgrounds who haven't got access to agents and stuff. Every single person who's making a series in this country should be encouraging that. There are many people in this industry who are middle class- I'm middle class now babes! Like, you should see what I'm doing with me house this year, like i'm middle class now as well, I'm not afraid to say it, but people from middle class backgrounds get so offended so quickly. But, you know, sometimes people just want to like, say it how it is, get it out in the open and then move on from stuff. And that takes a certain set of skills. And in stressful situations like TV productions and things like that, you *sighs* I just-
Annie [00:52:04] Yeah, Sophie described a thing with Alma, in the filming of Alma where she, where someone kind of accused her of being difficult or something.
Jayde [00:52:12] Yep, I remember this. I can confirm that's happened.
Annie [00:52:16] That's purely like a cultural thing, isn't it? That's just her being her and someone disagreeing with how she is being as opposed to-
Jayde [00:52:26] It's cultural, it's class. And should I tell you specifically what it is? It's what it's being a woman.
Annie [00:52:30] It's misogyny. Yeah.
Jayde [00:52:33] And I am going to call a spade a spade. But the biggest problem we've got is the way that people feel about women. And I figured that out when I was on Strictly Come Dancing because the way people feel about women is really intense on that. Because, like Karen, my partner, do you know, she's funny? I've watched that show for 17 years. She's been on 11 of them. She's dead funny. Do we know she's funny? We don't. Shirley gets loads of stuff on the Internet about the way that she marks and stuff and that apparently it's unfair, the way that she marks. And then everyone talks to her about how old she is and how irrelevant she is. And then everyone has a go at her. The way that they talk about Shirley is absolutely crazy. Yet Craig, who does the same stuff, is older. He gets none of it. It's like Motsi is too much, but Anton's just fine or Bruno's just fine. It's unfair how molly, who was in last year, she's musical theatre trained but no one picks Will Mellor up on the fact that he's definitely got training as well. It's, Jayde Adams can't dance because she's fat but it's okay for Hamza to dance, even though he's fat as well. People hate women. And they definitely hate it when we say it how it is. And you know, in our production, we talk about it all the time. We want to create a non toxic work environment. We want to be in a production where people's personal lives are as important as the job in hand as well. So like someone last year had a thing happen where they couldn't come in so we were like, what do we need to do to support you? What can we do at work? And you know what it meant, It meant that they came in. I meant that they felt that they could come in during their pain to work because it made them feel better. And that's one of the best things that I can try and encourage in this industry. But it's bloody hard. There's a lot of people stopping that stuff, you know.
Annie [00:54:18] Well, it's just so good to see people like you and Sophie coming through and like undeniably winning to the point where, you know, you can't be ignored now, you know, when there's BAFTAs and there's awards and, you know, those big accolades that really mean something to those people. They can't ignore you anymore. They have to listen. They have to open the door for you.
Jayde [00:54:37] Yeah, when you've got the support and you've got the fans, that really helps.
Annie [00:54:41] But what that affords you is not having to take jobs just because they're paying you. You can dictate exactly how you want to work and what you want to make. And that's the luxury that middle class and upper class people have. You know, they are able to do the work they want and say no to what they want.
Jayde [00:54:59] I got shit I did, because I did a Sun Bingo advert and I did an advert for the Sun.
Annie [00:55:08] And that paid for the kitchen.
Jayde [00:55:09] Paid for the entire house, Annie. I bought a house out of that job. And some people gave me some shit on the internet and I sort of message it back and I said, why are you telling me how I can earn my money? I was a waitress, I earnt £7 an hour for sixteen years of my life to be able to do what I'm doing. And you know what? The sun has come along to me and given me a whole bunch of money. The adverts not shit. Liam Gallagher loved it. It's made loads of working class people come and watch my stuff so now I get to invite a load of people that read The Sun, which is the most read newspaper in the country. They come to my shows and guess what? In my shows I talk about stuff they might not have heard about, but I make it palatable to them. I'd say I'm doing a lot more for change than people who constantly have a go at people on the Internet about choices they make.
Annie [00:55:56] YES JAYDE ADAMS!
Jayde [00:55:56] *Laughs*.
Annie [00:55:56] DROP THAT MIC!
Jayde [00:55:56] And I bought a house, which I never would have been able to do if I relied on Edinburgh Fringe because I made £43,000 worth of tickets and I came home with 6K!!! *Both laugh*.
Annie [00:56:13] Oh my God, I love it. Right, last question.
Jayde [00:56:18] Go on.
Annie [00:56:19] Change you would still like to see. Now, you've said a lot in this answer, but I just want to hone in on one which I loved - more compassion for wild women.
Jayde [00:56:28] Yeah.
Annie [00:56:28] Tell me.
Jayde [00:56:31] I mean, I've had to learn myself but just not being offended by someone who is wild, a woman specifically. Understanding the pressures women face consistently with every single thing they do, wear, see, feel. And then you get women who have on top of all of that, gone through abuse and trauma. Then they have a personality that has reacted to that abuse and trauma. They react to society in a way, and there's no empathy and compassion for them at all. And in fact, there's less. There is a study that was done about people who give money to homeless men and homeless women, and people feel sorrier for homeless men than they do for homeless women. And like, women who like go into sort of sex work. It's really interesting when you talk to people about sex work and stuff. If you've got it in you and you can separate your emotions and your sexuality, like go for it, babes. I wish I could do that a bit better, you know? But what ends up happening is because women have had to be a certain way, and now we've got the Kardashians, these little robots who constantly make women feel shit and then change themselves based on trend. You then have these people that don't fit moulds. It's like Miriam Margolyes right. I'm telling you what, if she had a rougher accent, we wouldn't like her as much.
Annie [00:57:55] Wow.
Jayde [00:57:56] If she was on Jeremy Kyle with a really rough accent. If she went on there and she was like-.
Annie [00:58:02] It's so true.
Jayde [00:58:04] An incredibly bristolian accent. Farting away, saying the shit she said she would not- But she's got like this lovely accent. I'm just saying, like wild women are just- they have the best stories and they are the best people. They just need some love at some point in their life because the world doesn't offer it to them easily. You know where you stand with a woman like that. You know, like she'll tell ya, and then she'll move on and make you a cup of tea, you know? *Annie laughs*. And it's I think it's to do with Jenna as well. Like, my sister was wild and she was rough and her experiences of stuff that she had going on in her life, I was really ashamed of when she was alive. And I think part of this need for everyone to show compassion is actually something I want to just do for myself, which is to find the joy in talking to people from all different walks of life. Because in that I'm going to find great stories and I'm going to be able to tell stories forever if I allow people like that to infect me rather than allowing the same person over and over again to affect me, you know? This is why I've gone back to Bristol, holding on to normality for me, is just like, it's so important to my writing and my storytelling. And Bristol's dead happy. I've been voted coolest person in Bristol.
Annie [00:59:24] Doesn't surprise me in the least. Did you have to accept that award somewhere or did you have to like-
Jayde [00:59:29] I think I had to retweet, it was from the Bristol Evening Post. I'm so thrilled. But I've also been- I am currently Person of the Year for Bristol24-7 magazine as well. They're really happy for me to be home. I hope next year I get to turn the lights on for Christmas.
Annie [00:59:46] Yesss Jayde! Put it in your plans.
Jayde [00:59:47] *Laughs* It's in my plan.
Annie [00:59:48] Put it in the plan. Turning the lights on for Bristol. Hey, Jayde Adams, thank you so much. This has been the best way to spend a Monday morning I could wish for. Thank you.
Jayde [00:59:58] Thanks so much for having me Annie. And I tell you what, it's an absolute honour to even be asked to be on this podcast. It's gorgeous.
Annie [01:00:08] Oh, Jayde Adams. What a woman. Just. Oh, I just loved her. I love her. I'm her biggest fan. So if you want to consume more of Jayde Adams *laughs*, go on Amazon Prime and watch her show on there. It's called Serious Black Jumper. See if you can book tickets, if there's any left that is for Men I Can Save You, her new show touring the UK in March. And of course, watch out for the new Ruby Speaking show which is going to be coming out as I said, on Itv2. Please share this with anyone who you know who you think will enjoy Jayde's company. And thank you as always so much for listening to Changes. It means the world. If you liked it, please go ahead and rate it, review it, even subscribe to it, go crazy, and also share the podcast on social media, that's always a good one too. We will be back next week and we'll be releasing episodes every single Monday for the foreseeable future. Got some amazing conversations on the Horizon. Changes is produced by Louise Mason through DIN Productions. See you next week.